I know it's crazy. My wonderful little man takes FOREVER to get to sleep. Ok, maybe not forever, but after 2 hours of crying, rocking, feeding, singing (softly, softly), sssshhhh-ing and walking the floor with a baby who's now well past a stone in weight, and he's STILL not asleep, it certainly feels like forever.
I've been reading the "no-cry sleep solution" by Elizabeth Pantley, and it's got some good tips and ideas in it. Last night, he probably cried less that he ever has, and went to sleep in an astonishingly quick one hour 40 mins. And, what's even more impressive, he was laid down, not being rocked, fed, or sung to. The 3 of us were laid on our bed, after an hour twenty minutes of settling him (using all of the above methods!) he was almost asleep, but the last wee bit he did all by himself. And it made me incredibly sad. Yup, you heard me right, sad. Sad to think, one day, maybe not too far away, we'll have bath time, story time, and then I'll put him down in his own cot and he'll go to sleep without us, without needing us.
I never used to understand Mum's who wanted to keep their children babies as long as possible. Mum's doing things for their children who are perfectly able to do it themselves. It holds the child back, ties up Mum's time, and, in the end both get frustrated. But it's scary, your baby moving on to the next stage. Yesterday we had the weaning talk, and if I'm honest I don't enjoy breastfeeding as much as I would like to; as much as other Mum's seem to. But still, when the health visitor said that by 9 months to a year, he should be on roughly 3 meals a day and should only need milk morning, night and possibly once during the day I felt that same pang. One day, he will no longer be my baby. He'll be Isaac; a person in his own right and he won't need me anymore. Each milestone, as wonderful, exciting and full of joy as they are, holds that same little twinge of sadness because it's one step closer to that day.
Thursday, 29 September 2011
Wednesday, 28 September 2011
About me
I'm sitting in my living room; it's a lovely warm, sunny day and the house is quiet! It's so unusual, the past four and a half months have just been non-stop. I guess the arrival of your first bundle of joy (and exhaustion, depression and despair!) is like that.
He's sat outside in the back garden, wrapped up, and carefully positioned out of direct sunlight; the back door and sitting room window open so I will hear if he stirs. He's been sleeping an hour, and that's usually his absolute maximum (earlier today we only got half an hour), so I fully expect to have to abandon this draft at any moment. I don't really know what to do with myself, truth be told. I'm sure you're told to relax, enjoy, nap yourself if you need to, but I'm more on edge than when he's awake! I feel a bit like a coiled spring, ready to burst into action as soon as he needs me.
I have started blogs before, and I have rarely kept them going very long. I know this one will be a challenge, given how little my baby is, and how much time he takes up; but writing is one of the ways that I figure out how I feel, what I want, and how to move forward. So I know it's important that I really make the effort to keep this one going. I also really want a record of this time in my life. An online diary, for me, for my family, and maybe for my baby Isaac to read when he gets a bit older. I want it to be honest, open and real. No doubt, there will be rants when I get frustrated with the world around me (my husband calls that the passionate Scot in me, and insists he loves that about me - even after hearing me express my very strong opinion on the same topic for a couple of weeks, until I get it out of my system!) - but I hope it will be more about me figuring out how I can live my life completely and fully. I know we only get one, and my baby boy will only be this size once, will only roll over onto his tummy for the first time once (today!!!), my husband and I will only get to enjoy this time together once - learning how to be a family and not just a couple. And we're both figuring out how to be the parents we want to be, the people we want to be, and how to encourage Isaac to grow and develop into whoever he wants to be!
Talking of Isaac, he's still sleeping!!
He's sat outside in the back garden, wrapped up, and carefully positioned out of direct sunlight; the back door and sitting room window open so I will hear if he stirs. He's been sleeping an hour, and that's usually his absolute maximum (earlier today we only got half an hour), so I fully expect to have to abandon this draft at any moment. I don't really know what to do with myself, truth be told. I'm sure you're told to relax, enjoy, nap yourself if you need to, but I'm more on edge than when he's awake! I feel a bit like a coiled spring, ready to burst into action as soon as he needs me.
I have started blogs before, and I have rarely kept them going very long. I know this one will be a challenge, given how little my baby is, and how much time he takes up; but writing is one of the ways that I figure out how I feel, what I want, and how to move forward. So I know it's important that I really make the effort to keep this one going. I also really want a record of this time in my life. An online diary, for me, for my family, and maybe for my baby Isaac to read when he gets a bit older. I want it to be honest, open and real. No doubt, there will be rants when I get frustrated with the world around me (my husband calls that the passionate Scot in me, and insists he loves that about me - even after hearing me express my very strong opinion on the same topic for a couple of weeks, until I get it out of my system!) - but I hope it will be more about me figuring out how I can live my life completely and fully. I know we only get one, and my baby boy will only be this size once, will only roll over onto his tummy for the first time once (today!!!), my husband and I will only get to enjoy this time together once - learning how to be a family and not just a couple. And we're both figuring out how to be the parents we want to be, the people we want to be, and how to encourage Isaac to grow and develop into whoever he wants to be!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)