About me

I'm sitting in my living room; it's a lovely warm, sunny day and the house is quiet! It's so unusual, the past four and a half months have just been non-stop. I guess the arrival of your first bundle of joy (and exhaustion, depression and despair!) is like that.

He's sat outside in the back garden, wrapped up, and carefully positioned out of direct sunlight; the back door and sitting room window open so I will hear if he stirs. He's been sleeping an hour, and that's usually his absolute maximum (earlier today we only got half an hour), so I fully expect to have to abandon this draft at any moment. I don't really know what to do with myself, truth be told. I'm sure you're told to relax, enjoy, nap yourself if you need to, but I'm more on edge than when he's awake! I feel a bit like a coiled spring, ready to burst into action as soon as he needs me.

I have started blogs before, and I have rarely kept them going very long. I know this one will be a challenge, given how little my baby is, and how much time he takes up; but writing is one of the ways that I figure out how I feel, what I want, and how to move forward. So I know it's important that I really make the effort to keep this one going. I also really want a record of this time in my life. An online diary, for me, for my family, and maybe for my baby Isaac to read when he gets a bit older. I want it to be honest, open and real. No doubt, there will be rants when I get frustrated with the world around me (my husband calls that the passionate Scot in me, and insists he loves that about me - even after hearing me express my very strong opinion on the same topic for a couple of weeks, until I get it out of my system!) - but I hope it will be more about me figuring out how I can live my life completely and fully. I know we only get one, and my baby boy will only be this size once, will only roll over onto his tummy for the first time once (today!!!), my husband and I will only get to enjoy this time together once - learning how to be a family and not just a couple. And we're both figuring out how to be the parents we want to be, the people we want to be, and how to encourage Isaac to grow and develop into whoever he wants to be!

Talking of Isaac, he's still sleeping!!